If you want something you will find a way, if you don’t, you will find an excuse. In overcoming any habit there is one important question for us to consider. This is the factor of how much we want to change our lives?
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Hello and welcome to Fragments of Fragments with me, Lewis Kirk.
This is a follow up to the last Vlog I did about Whos in Control? regarding our relationships to our smartphones. If you have not seen this, I would recommend that you go and watch that first, as it will give you better context when watching this episode.
Many of you have contacted me regarding habits that you would like to change. And specifically regarding the last Vlog some of you commented on how our relationships to our smart phones can be out of our control. This episode will be about re-gaining control over this relationship in particular, but will generally cover any habit that we wish to overcome.
In overcoming any habit there is one important question for us to consider. This is the factor of how much we want to change our lives? Do you desire a change in your behavior more than what you get in benefit from that behavior? Why are you doing this?
We need to ask ourselves what is important to us. What do you we want in life? In the near and distant future. We might want to spend less time on our smartphones, to eat a more balanced and healthy diet, to overcome some unwanted habit. If this is really important to us, then we will overcome it with ease, but if not, then we are in for a struggle. By paying attention to our actions during the day, it will become very clear what is important for us. If we want to spend less time on our smart phones but still find ourselves regularly checking our social media feed, then it is clearly not that important to us. If we want to get into shape, but cant resist the offer of a cake or doughnut, then getting into shape cant be important to us.
If the desire for change is strong and powerful within us, nothing can get in our way. Compare this to a weak or unclear intention, and we will have a much harder time making progress. If you want something you will find a way, if you don’t, you will find an excuse.
We need to make conscious choices. What I mean by this is to know the reason behind the things we do. Regarding our phones. Wanting to research something on Wikipedia and making some notes is a very beneficial way of using this technology. Learning a language on the Duolingo app is a good use of a few spare minutes. But procrastinating over a project that we need to finish by scrolling through our Facebook news feed is not a good use of our time. We need to take control of our decisions and choices, and not just open our social media apps for the sake of it. Have control over how you spend your time. And if it is difficult, then work towards gaining control.
Set a time during the day for checking social media, be strict with that choice, there is no need to check in every hour hoping for a dopamine high. If that’s what your looking for take up skydiving or some other extreme sport.
To elaborate on this, speaking specifically about overcoming the time wasted on our phones here is an exercise you can try. You can put your phone down and not check it for 10 minutes right? At least I hope you can! How about 30 minutes? How about an hour? Can’t do an hour, OK then, try and build up to an hour, all the time remembering the reason you are doing this. This is very important as I mentioned earlier. If the reason is not clear and strong, it will be easy to fall back in to the old habit. If you know why you are doing this, then it will be easier to control yourself around your smartphone.
If you have any further questions that I did not cover here, don’t hesitate to get in touch and ask. I might not do another Vlog to answer, but I can answer in the comments or via a message if that’s better for you.
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