Here it is. My first Vlog-Podcast. The link to the YouTube clip is below, and below that is the script I was working through. With this there is a choice to read or watch. You will see that I am quite tense in the beginning, but thankfully I loosened up a bit towards the end. enjoy. Would really like to hear your feedback.
Link to YouTube
Hello and welcome to Fragments of Fragments in its new format with me Lewis Kirk. I started the blog in April 2012 and have been posting intermittently since then. There are hundreds of articles that you can find and there is plenty to read if you want to have a browse.
To begin I would like to thank those of you who have already subscribed to the YouTube channel and everyone who liked the Fragments of Fragments Facebook page. It means a lot to me when people show that they might be interested in something that I enjoy doing.
Now, you might be thinking that I look a little uneasy, and that’s because I am, and you have probably noticed that I am reading from a paper. I am. I tried to film this video yesterday without a script, with only a few bullet points as a guide and it was an epic failure. I had grand intentions of becoming the Dalai Lama and delivering an inspired lecture. Instead I devolved back into a neanderthal when the camera was on me.
I was unable to film the video as I had planned yesterday. Why? Was there an emergency? No. Did I get distracted or was I procrastinating? No. So then what happened? I just couldn’t do it! I was nervous, self-conscious and had way too high expectations about what I would be able to create. I probably had 6-7 attempts to get going, but I couldn’t, until I was just looking at my image on the phone wondering what the hell had happened. This was a difficult experience and it cause me to ask myself some questions about why I am doing this? It caused me to do some intense introspection as to if I really want to do this, to start this Vlog, when it seemed impossible to be able to talk to the camera. These thoughts consumed the rest of my afternoon and much of the evening and although I haven’t come to any clear answers, I have found a way to film and deliver this video. This magic paper. I’m like dumbo with his magic feather that helps him to fly. I will take on the role of news anchor. I’m Anchorman. Ron Burgendy, Reading the transcript of my blog post!
Yesterday, my expectations were too high. They were ridiculous! I expected to deliver a perfect performance right out of the gate, without any mistakes, no umms and arrrs. Perfect poise and eloquence was what I was hoping for, and instead I got caveman Lew.
So please forgive me for reading from a script, I need someones hand to hold, and this is it at the minute. I can fall back on it, or I can rely on it completely, but it is necessary to complete this video. I will try to explain why it is important for me to try again and overcome this setback. And here we go into the first tangent of the podcast. I will speak for a moment on failure and the fear of failure, as I know all about it after yesterdays performance. This next part will be very similar to the type of videos I plan to share.
I’ve been putting off starting this project for a good while. I’d get excited about it and hyped up, raring to go but then doubts rain in and tell me I can’t do it, no one would watch it, you’d make a fool of yourself. But the universe kept giving me signs that I must start. Advice from a guest or host of a podcast, a song on the radio, they all brought to mind this first video, here, now, and that I needed to start. In life you can fail and what you don’t love, so you may as well fail at what you love. We have to ask ourselves what is that thing? So imagine the state I’m in yesterday. Finally plucked up the courage to conquer YouTube and I couldn’t perform. I had the equivalent of writers block.
But now I’m back, reading from my magic paper. Working my way through the words, sentences and paragraphs until I get to the end, and can say goodbye. Not as charismatic as I had envisioned, but there you go.
Now lets get to the fear itself. Many of us have something that were afraid of, that brings on anxiety and panic, something that we cant do, or cant be near, or cant look at. I have an example from my own life. When I was practicing hypnotherapy and counselling a few years ago a woman came to me who had severe fear and anxiety towards London Underground. She couldn’t go on the underground, couldn’t bare to be trapped underground, and of course, this proved troublesome if she ever wanted to get into central London. As we all know, the tube is much more direct than a bus.
I had learnt all about stress, fear and anxiety while I was studying Hypnotherapy and was aware of a technique called Gradual Exposure Therapy or as it is sometimes called Systematic desensitisation. This is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy developed by South African psychiatrist, Joseph Wolpe. The process of gradual exposure therapy consists of three parts. The first step is identifying the fear or trigger of anxienty. In my clients case it was the tube, and for me it is speaking into a camera. The second step is the learning of relaxation or coping techniques. Which I will get to in more detail shortly. Once these techniques have been learnt and internalized, the individual must use them to overcome the situations in which their anxiety manifests itself. The ultimate goal being that the fear response or anxiety become so slight, that it would not impact the persons choices and options.
Here is the process me and my client went through to overcome her fear of the London Underground. Now remember we are using gradual exposure therapy only. No hypnosis. Just the systematic desensitiation of her fear of being closed in. In session one we went out for a walk to a place where there was a tube station. We didn’t go near it, just in the vicinity of it. As you can imagine, this was relatively stress free. The next session she needed to push herself and go and stand outside the station, directly in front of it. Session three was a real struggle for her and took us a few attempts to get past. We needed to go into the station, down the steps and to the ticket booth. The two final sessions before she was able to go on a tube were to go all the way down to the platform, and finally, the step before last, was to step into the train, and then step out.
Once all of these steps has been taken, her level of anxiety had gradually reduced, and her fear of being in an underground carriage had been removed through gradual exposure therapy, she was ready to rid herself of her fear all together. To travel one stop on the tube. As soon as we accomplished this final milestone, her fears and anxiety was gone, and ever since then she has been able to use the tube freely and easily.
How do I intend to use this technique to overcome my own fear and anxiety about talking into the camera? Well, I have already started by assessing what would be necessary for me to be able to talk in front of a camera, and I realized is that it was if I was reading from a script. And so far I have managed to do this. The next step in the process would be to write a script and then memorize it. Performing it as an actor would deliver his lines in a film. Next would be to try what I tried yesterday, have several talking points and just let it flow, touching each of them in turn. My final goal is to be able to have the talking points in mind, no visual stimulus, and be able to progress through them and deliver a intelligible speech.
Even if you don’t like the content of the blog, you may as well come along for the ride and see if I make an arse of myself trying to talk to my iphone…. I havent really said anything about myself have I? Apart from that I’m a giant pussy!! Or anything about the blog. I will focus on that in the next Vlog/podcast.
On that note, I wanted to speak a bit about whats coming up in the next few episodes as I have them in mind. I’ll get round to speaking about the blog in the next one I think, and then speech making, oratory, and TedTalks the one aftert that. As I said at the beginning I have written many posts since 2012, and they are all on the blog, Have a browse through, you might find something that grabs your interest, and thats a good thing. I have a plan to go back to the beginning of my blogging career at some stage and convert all of them into video. With that being said, if you have one that you have read and enjoyed, comment on YouTube, Fragments of Fragments wordpress site, or the Fragments facebook page and I will get to yours first.
One final announcement before I go. There is the possibility of me introducing a guest speaker onto the podcast in the coming months, I will tell you more when I know more.
Well, I managed to get through a video without fainting…..
Thanks for watching. Please like the video and subscribe. Any feedback would be great, as is it clear that I am a novice and could use all the constructive criticism. Or praise, you can tell me what I am doing well too. I would welcome any feedback, comments or questions and I will get to them in turn. Finally, If you found what I said about systematic desensitisation valuable, and you feel better equipped to tackle you fears now that you are aware of the techniques, and if not, might there be someone else who has a fear of phobia. If someone comes to mind, share the link with them. And if your really felling the Christmas spirit, share it on you social media.
Be Good. See you next time!