Category Archives: Hypnotherapy

Making Time for Mental Health

  • What is Mental Health?
  • How can we increase our awareness of it?
  • Why is it so important to make time in our life for better understanding of Mental Health?

Mental Health can be defined as a persons condition regarding their psychological and emotional well being. It affects how we think, feel and act, and is also a huge determiner in how we handle stress, make choices and relate to others.

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Filed under Books, Buddhism, Gurdjieff, Harmonious Development, Hypnotherapy, philosophy, positivity, The Mind, Vlogs, Zen

Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field

Ive been working on this one for a while now, and really excited to finally release it into the world! See the Video at the bottom of the page.

If you wanted to learn about the mechanism behind Steve Jobs’ Reality distortion field you could read a number of books: ‘The Secret’ or ‘the power of your subconscious mind’, some books on NLP or auto-suggestion. Alternatively, you can just sit and watch this video and learn how to implement these ideas and techniques to distort your own reality and move towards something which currently seems highly unlikely.

Steve Jobs had charisma and an indomitable will, as well as the eagerness to bend any fact to suit the job at hand. I share an interesting story in the Vlog about a story when Jobs went to find someone to produce the glass for the iPhone and iPad and how he used his reality distortion field to get that deal done, and ahead of schedule to boot.

We have seen the reality distortion field at work very often if we are fans of the Star Wars franchise, this Jedi mind trick is a staple tool of the Jedi Masters. I share an example of this to further illustrate how powerful this tool is in the Vlog.

So what can we learn from Steve Jobs’ reality distortion field to bring into our own lives? We need to cultivate two things; our inner Steve jobs, and a mind as sharp as a Jedi Master. We need to stay focussed and motivated towards our goals by concentrating on the big picture and not the miniature, tiny details that don’t have too much impact on reality.

By expecting greatness, we can achieve greatness.

To innovate our lives we need to generate our own reality distortion field and create the reality that we want to experience. This way, we can manipulate our life to conform with the dreams that we have always had, and can finally make them a REALITY!!

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Gaining Control

If you want something you will find a way, if you don’t, you will find an excuse. In overcoming any habit there is one important question for us to consider. This is the factor of how much we want to change our lives?

Link to YouTube

Hello and welcome to Fragments of Fragments with me, Lewis Kirk.

This is a follow up to the last Vlog I did about Whos in Control? regarding our relationships to our smartphones. If you have not seen this, I would recommend that you go and watch that first, as it will give you better context when watching this episode.

Many of you have contacted me regarding habits that you would like to change. And specifically regarding the last Vlog some of you commented on how our relationships to our smart phones can be out of our control. This episode will be about re-gaining control over this relationship in particular, but will generally cover any habit that we wish to overcome.

In overcoming any habit there is one important question for us to consider. This is the factor of how much we want to change our lives? Do you desire a change in your behavior more than what you get in benefit from that behavior?  Why are you doing this?

We need to ask ourselves what is important to us. What do you we want in life? In the near and distant future. We might want to spend less time on our smartphones, to eat a more balanced and healthy diet, to overcome some unwanted habit. If this is really important to us, then we will overcome it with ease, but if not, then we are in for a struggle. By paying attention to our actions during the day, it will become very clear what is important for us. If we want to spend less time on our smart phones but still find ourselves regularly checking our social media feed, then it is clearly not that important to us. If we want to get into shape, but cant resist the offer of a cake or doughnut, then getting into shape cant be important to us.

If the desire for change is strong and powerful within us, nothing can get in our way. Compare this to a weak or unclear intention, and we will have a much harder time making progress. If you want something you will find a way, if you don’t, you will find an excuse.

We need to make conscious choices. What I mean by this is to know the reason behind the things we do. Regarding our phones. Wanting to research something on Wikipedia and making some notes is a very beneficial way of using this technology. Learning a language on the Duolingo app is a good use of a few spare minutes. But procrastinating over a project that we need to finish by scrolling through our Facebook news feed is not a good use of our time. We need to take control of our decisions and choices, and not just open our social media apps for the sake of it. Have control over how you spend your time. And if it is difficult, then work towards gaining control.

Set a time during the day for checking social media, be strict with that choice, there is no need to check in every hour hoping for a dopamine high. If that’s what your looking for take up skydiving or some other extreme sport.

To elaborate on this, speaking specifically about overcoming the time wasted on our phones here is an exercise you can try. You can put your phone down and not check it for 10 minutes right? At least I hope you can! How about 30 minutes? How about an hour? Can’t do an hour, OK then, try and build up to an hour, all the time remembering the reason you are doing this. This is very important as I mentioned earlier. If the reason is not clear and strong, it will be easy to fall back in to the old habit. If you know why you are doing this, then it will be easier to control yourself around your smartphone.

If you have any further questions that I did not cover here, don’t hesitate to get in touch and ask. I might not do another Vlog to answer, but I can answer in the comments or via a message if that’s better for you.

Please like and subscribe to the channel, and if you found this helpful then please share it with others who might also benefit. Thanks for watching.

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Welcome – I’m Here, with the Fear

Here it is. My first Vlog-Podcast. The link to the YouTube clip is below, and below that is the script I was working through. With this there is a choice to read or watch. You will see that I am quite tense in the beginning, but thankfully I loosened up a bit towards the end. enjoy. Would really like to hear your feedback.

Link to YouTube

Hello and welcome to Fragments of Fragments in its new format with me Lewis Kirk. I started the blog in April 2012 and have been posting intermittently since then. There are hundreds of articles that you can find and there is plenty to read if you want to have a browse.

To begin I would like to thank those of you who have already subscribed to the YouTube channel and everyone who liked the Fragments of Fragments Facebook page. It means a lot to me when people show that they might be interested in something that I enjoy doing.

Now, you might be thinking that I look a little uneasy, and that’s because I am, and you have probably noticed that I am reading from a paper. I am. I tried to film this video yesterday without a script, with only a few bullet points as a guide and it was an epic failure. I had grand intentions of becoming the Dalai Lama and delivering an inspired lecture. Instead I devolved back into a neanderthal when the camera was on me.

I was unable to film the video as I had planned yesterday. Why? Was there an emergency? No. Did I get distracted or was I procrastinating? No. So then what happened? I just couldn’t do it! I was nervous, self-conscious and had way too high expectations about what I would be able to create. I probably had 6-7 attempts to get going, but I couldn’t, until I was just looking at my image on the phone wondering what the hell had happened. This was a difficult experience and it cause me to ask myself some questions about why I am doing this? It caused me to do some intense introspection as to if I really want to do this, to start this Vlog, when it seemed impossible to be able to talk to the camera. These thoughts consumed the rest of my afternoon and much of the evening and although I haven’t come to any clear answers, I have found a way to film and deliver this video. This magic paper. I’m like dumbo with his magic feather that helps him to fly. I will take on the role of news anchor. I’m Anchorman. Ron Burgendy, Reading the transcript of my blog post!

Yesterday, my expectations were too high. They were ridiculous! I expected to deliver a perfect performance right out of the gate, without any mistakes, no umms and arrrs. Perfect poise and eloquence was what I was hoping for, and instead I got caveman Lew.

So please forgive me for reading from a script, I need someones hand to hold, and this is it at the minute. I can fall back on it, or I can rely on it completely, but it is necessary to complete this video. I will try to explain why it is important for me to try again and overcome this setback. And here we go into the first tangent of the podcast. I will speak for a moment on failure and the fear of failure, as I know all about it after yesterdays performance. This next part will be very similar to the type of videos I plan to share.

I’ve been putting off starting this project for a good while. I’d get excited about it and hyped up, raring to go but then doubts rain in and tell me I can’t do it, no one would watch it, you’d make a fool of yourself. But the universe kept giving me signs that I must start. Advice from a guest or host of a podcast, a song on the radio, they all brought to mind this first video, here, now, and that I needed to start.  In life you can fail and what you don’t love, so you may as well fail at what you love. We have to ask ourselves what is that thing? So imagine the state I’m in yesterday. Finally plucked up the courage to conquer YouTube and I couldn’t perform. I had the equivalent of writers block.

But now I’m back, reading from my magic paper. Working my way through the words, sentences and paragraphs until I get to the end, and can say goodbye. Not as charismatic as I had envisioned, but there you go.

Now lets get to the fear itself. Many of us have something that were afraid of, that brings on anxiety and panic, something that we cant do, or cant be near, or cant look at. I have an example from my own life. When I was practicing hypnotherapy and counselling a few years ago a woman came to me who had severe fear and anxiety towards London Underground. She couldn’t go on the underground, couldn’t bare to be trapped underground, and of course, this proved troublesome if she ever wanted to get into central London. As we all know, the tube is much more direct than a bus.

I had learnt all about stress, fear and anxiety while I was studying Hypnotherapy and was aware of a technique called Gradual Exposure Therapy or as it is sometimes called Systematic desensitisation. This is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy developed by South African psychiatrist, Joseph Wolpe. The process of gradual exposure therapy consists of three parts. The first step is identifying the fear or trigger of anxienty. In my clients case it was the tube, and for me it is speaking into a camera. The second step is the learning of relaxation or coping techniques. Which I will get to in more detail shortly. Once these techniques have been learnt and internalized, the individual must use them to overcome the situations in which their anxiety manifests itself. The ultimate goal being that the fear response or anxiety become so slight, that it would not impact the persons choices and options.

Here is the process me and my client went through to overcome her fear of the London Underground. Now remember we are using gradual exposure therapy only. No hypnosis. Just the systematic desensitiation of her fear of being closed in. In session one we went out for a walk to a place where there was a tube station. We didn’t go near it, just in the vicinity of it. As you can imagine, this was relatively stress free. The next session she needed to push herself and go and stand outside the station, directly in front of it. Session three was a real struggle for her and took us a few attempts to get past. We needed to go into the station, down the steps and to the ticket booth. The two final sessions before she was able to go on a tube were to go all the way down to the platform, and finally, the step before last, was to step into the train, and then step out.

Once all of these steps has been taken, her level of anxiety had gradually reduced, and her fear of being in an underground carriage had been removed through gradual exposure therapy, she was ready to rid herself of her fear all together. To travel one stop on the tube. As soon as we accomplished this final milestone, her fears and anxiety was gone, and ever since then she has been able to use the tube freely and easily.

How do I intend to use this technique to overcome my own fear and anxiety about talking into the camera? Well, I have already started by assessing what would be necessary for me to be able to talk in front of a camera, and I realized is that it was if I was reading from a script. And so far I have managed to do this. The next step in the process would be to write a script and then memorize it. Performing it as an actor would deliver his lines in a film. Next would be to try what I tried yesterday, have several talking points and just let it flow, touching each of them in turn. My final goal is to be able to have the talking points in mind, no visual stimulus, and be able to progress through them and deliver a intelligible speech.

Even if you don’t like the content of the blog, you may as well come along for the ride and see if I make an arse of myself trying to talk to my iphone…. I havent really said anything about myself have I? Apart from that I’m a giant pussy!! Or anything about the blog. I will focus on that in the next Vlog/podcast.

On that note, I wanted to speak a bit about whats coming up in the next few episodes as I have them in mind. I’ll get round to speaking about the blog in the next one I think, and then speech making, oratory, and TedTalks the one aftert that. As I said at the beginning I have written many posts since 2012, and they are all on the blog, Have a browse through, you might find something that grabs your interest, and thats a good thing. I have a plan to go back to the beginning of my blogging career at some stage and convert all of them into video. With that being said, if you have one that you have read and enjoyed, comment on YouTube, Fragments of Fragments wordpress site, or the Fragments facebook page and I will get to yours first.

One final announcement before I go. There is the possibility of me introducing a guest speaker onto the podcast in the coming months, I will tell you more when I know more.

Well, I managed to get through a video without fainting…..

Thanks for watching. Please like the video and subscribe. Any feedback would be great, as is it clear that I am a novice and could use all the constructive criticism. Or praise, you can tell me what I am doing well too. I would welcome any feedback, comments or questions and I will get to them in turn. Finally, If you found what I said about systematic desensitisation valuable, and you feel better equipped to tackle you fears now that you are aware of the techniques, and if not, might there be someone else who has a fear of phobia. If someone comes to mind, share the link with them. And if your really felling the Christmas spirit, share it on you social media.

Be Good. See you next time!

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The Power of The List

Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy are powerful ways of ingraining suggestions into your subconscious. As with all things, this is not the only way to deliver suggestions to your subconscious. 

I will share with you another powerful way. Write a list of all of the important goals you would like to achieve. These can include fitness goals, business goals, relationship goals. Anything that you would like to achieve moving forward. Take some time and sit down and really think about these things. Where would you like to be in one months, six months, one years time? What habits would you like to have gotten rid of? What habits would you like to have incorporated into your daily routine? What would you like to have achieved?
The next step is to make this peice of paper with your list on sacred to you. Take it everywhere with you, carry it on your person at all times. Look at your list before you begin your meditation. Look at it before you go to sleep at night. Look at it first thing as you wake up in the morning!

By performing all of these steps, it will become very clear if your daily life is at variance with your goals. For example, if your goals is to quit smoking, and that is at the top of your list, but you continue to buy cigarettes and smoke them, then clearly this goal is not as important as you thought. If your goals is to lose weight and get in shape, but yet you continue to eat sweet, sugary things, or eat too much, then you would need to ask yourself, ‘How badly do I want to lose weight?’

The thing to remember is that inherent within every intention, goal or desire is the potential for its fulfilment. Nothing has come into being without first being a thought, intention or goal first. From the aeroplane to electricity, they all began as thoughts and intentions. Your goals are no different! 

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Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy

Hypnosis is a perfectly natural state and can be used in many ways, including helping to improve your general functioning and to make you feel better mentally or physically. We have all at some stage in our life, some more often than others, experienced a light hypnotic trance state. This occurs most often when we are engaged in some kind of automatic activity.

A common example of this would be the highway trance, when, while driving on a long or regular car journey, one may have no recollection of a large part of the journey already covered even though they were engaged in the skilfull task of driving a car. Sometimes huge chunks of the journey can disappear from the memory upon arrival at a destination. Driving is one instance. People can find themselves in a similar state while doing any monotonous activity; walking, dining alone, taking a shower or watching television. This is to name only a handful of examples. In fact, hypnotic trances and everyday trances are very similar in their subjective quality.

There is nothing new or innovative in hypnosis, everything available to us today is very old and the way it works has not changed for thousands of years. It can also be considered as an inherent property in many people. Hypnotic techniques are used by many, sometimes quite unconsciously. Suggestion, distraction, relaxation, imagery and confusion are often employed by many different individuals in many different fields. Medical practitioners, psychologists, midwives, insurance and advertising agents, all of these on occasion will use hypnosis without themselves or their clients or victims being aware that these practices could be labelled so.

The main physical characteristic of hypnosis is relaxation. Many people in today’s society have become so accustomed to tension and stress in daily life that they come to accept it as the norm. An individual will find it very difficult to be tense and at the same time susceptible to hypnosis. This is why to begin with you will first experience a deep level of relaxation. This is the lightest state of hypnosis, simply becoming very relaxed from head to toe.

A popular misunderstanding regarding hypnosis is that it puts the subject into a state of unconsciousness which resembles sleep. This is actually not the case. It would be better described as a waking state of focused attention which in turn increases an individual’s suggestibility. Suggestion plays a very important part in hypnotherapy and is incredibly powerful.

Hypnosis is a remarkable and very dynamic tool to be used in therapy and some of the results documented can only be described as miraculous! The main psychological and physical aspects experienced during the hypnotic state will be very similar to all who experience them. However, the level of experience will be subject to an individual’s willingness to conform, and to their hypnotic susceptibility. I believe the results of a hypnotherapy session have everything to do with a person’s mind-set and attitude towards hypnosis. If someone has been forced to seek therapy by a spouse or family member and is not really interested, the results that follow will show just that. Compare this to a subject who truly believes in hypnosis, hypnotherapy and their therapist, and the results can be amazing.

Hypnotherapy is simply the use of hypnosis for therapy. It is the application of certain well known principles in a systematic way to help an individual make positive changes in their life.

Many individuals assume that they know all about hypnosis from what they have read, seen on the television or heard from ‘reputable’ experts in the field. What they fail to realise is the fact that many of those behind this form of media may well have unknowingly been misinformed in regards hypnosis. This is not done in a malicious way, it is only due to a lack of understanding.

If you would like more information about how hypnotherapy might be able to help you directly then please visit Harmonious Development for many interesting articles on the subject.

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Why Smoke!?

I am writing this blog post from my new perspective as hypnotherapist and counsellor. Working with several clients and helping to assist them in becoming non-smokers, as well as looking around at the many people who make the conscious decision to smoke got me thinking… Why Smoke? It is my wish that when you have finished reading these words you take a few short moments to think about this pastime that you choose to partake in. And, ultimately ask yourself the question; Why Smoke?

Some of you may have seen and even participated in a question I asked on my Facebook page. I asked people to answer in a sentence or two ‘why you smoke’? And if you didn’t smoke yourself, to ask someone close to you why they smoke. I was very pleased with the responses that I got and they really helped me to compose this blog with a clear objective in mind.

There were many and varied answers but all were given with honesty and sincerity. Or that’s at least how it came across from where I was reading. Among some of the answers that were given were; I enjoy/like smoking, it gives me a feeling of contentment/comfort when I have finished, it looks good, it relieves stress, its a habit, its an addiction. In this article I will be concentrating on the last two; habit and addiction. To begin with I will give a general definition of habit and addiction:

HabitAn acquired or routine behaviour pattern that is repeated regularly and is often carried out and tends to occur involuntary.

AddictionThe state of being enslaved to a habit or to something that is psychologically or physically adverse to an individual. The continued repetition of a behaviour despite being aware of its adverse consequences.

Many people who answered my question said ‘its a habit’, or ‘its an addiction’. For the sake of this blog we can take habit and addiction to be synonymous. If your uncomfortable with this idea then think of an addiction as an intense or severe habit.

A habit is simply the process of forming a particular behaviour pattern through repetition. Those of you that answered why you smoke because its a habit can probably accept that smoking is just something you do now, or that you have done it for so long now its hard to stop. But habits are of two kinds; positive and negative. Its a very positive habit to clean your teeth when you wake up and before you go to bed. Its a positive habit to wear your seat belt when your driving in your car. To look left and right before crossing the road.

Its equally positive to ingrain the habit of not smoking. Working with people it has become completely clear that there are absolutely no benefits to smoking, and so many benefits to not smoking. Some of the reasons not to smoke; the cost of cigarettes, the health issues that come with being a smoker, the smell, the effect on those around you, the grip that it has on an individual, and more that i’m sure you can think of yourself.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. In my opinion you can do whatever you desire. You can take up yoga, learn a new language, take a college course, join a gym, find a new job, and on and on in whichever direction you want to go. Equally you can decide to shake the grip that nicotine and cigarettes hold on you. To save your money for better and more productive pastimes (holidays, children, bills etc), and to live a healthier, happier life.

If you feel unable to do this by yourself, hypnotherapy and counselling can help. The process we go through is simple and effective and if you want to become a non-smoker but don’t have the will-power by yourself, together we can work towards a new, healthier, more financially well-off you. Want it and you can have it!

For more information about quitting smoking and many other services visit http://www.harmoniousdevelopment.co.uk I look forward to hearing from you!

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